Things are better. I shouldn�t complain.

I look around me, its hot. I feel trapped, stuck. I sigh.

Deep, but dark. Sandman, that is, it was very deep, and dark

I�m halfway through it, the first book. I do love it, I have to admit, but, its very consuming, things don�t feel real. And as I was reading about Lucifer in the book, I kept thinking �Lucifer doesn�t look that way, he doesn�t act that way�� *giggles* it bothered me, I wanted to redraw him.

So dark, I really don�t want to read that before bed time again. Lol.

What am I thinking� I don�t know. I do know, but much of what I�m thinking isn�t for public viewing. What to do about so many things, *sigh*

My head hurts, so tired.

I wrote yesterday, and just like that, I felt better. I�m eating now, a lot more, much better� mom helped, I know it. Innanah� that is, not my physical mother. *frowns* ok, about three of you will get that. Lol. Well that�s ok. A little mystery to spice up your life hehe.

I went to Parsons, Pratt, New School Writing, New School, NYU, and FIT websites and downloaded applications. Tomorrow, I�m going to start filling them out, and trying to get a hold of my old creative writing and art teachers from HS, if I can remember their names. I know they will give me good recommendations, hell, I used to TEACH creative writing, my teacher would just let me teach days she wanted to do something else, or had a meeting. I can get stellar letters from them. I don�t really want to go to Pratt or FIT, but if I get in, I�m not complaining. Lol.

I ate a lot today, a lot for me, and I didn�t push myself to do it. I just started writing yesterday and like a switch� thanks mom. Thank you. (once again, Innanah, not my physical mother) I feel hungry again, before I�m starving. I can feel it, and then I eat, its not a big deal, its actually really quite simple. I had like two or three bananas today, flat bread, salmon teriyaki with rice and a California roll, a meal replacement shake (which made me want to barf, I don�t know what it is about them and multi vitamins, but they make me want to hurl lol.) and Muesli with soy milk, which is very good for you, uber healthy and nutritious. I can do this, this is so simple, so easy. Thanks mom. :)

I�m playing with the ankh around my neck. I�m itching to get my tattoo done. When I get it done I�m dragging Mike, he did, after all, draw it for me, the sweetie. <3 ofcourse� blood scabbed over ink covered wrist isn�t the most SEXY thing in the world� but� Ill pretend it is :D

So

Fucking

Hot

It wont get better until, when, Friday they said? Maybe later? The AC in here ran out of Freon, and these scary air conditioner men came and took the damn thing out! It was crazy, its one of those standing deals that�s built into the wall, I didn�t even know it came out! 0.o crazy.